


From the text logs of Bokuto Koutarou

by koikawa



Category: Haikyuu!!
Genre: Crack, Fluff, M/M, Textfic, Texting, literally just almost 3000 words of bokuto texting people, nothing else
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-08-06
Updated: 2015-08-06
Packaged: 2018-04-13 08:40:14
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,817
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/4515279
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/koikawa/pseuds/koikawa
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p><b>(To: Keiji)</b> akaashi!!!!! I got a new phone!!!</p>
<p><b>(From: Keiji)</b> Who is this</p>
<p><b>(To: Keiji)</b> it’s your best friend in the whole world!!!!</p>
<p><b>(From: Keiji)</b> Konoha-san?</p>
            </blockquote>





	From the text logs of Bokuto Koutarou

**Author's Note:**

> I noticed a lack of textfic in the Haikyuu!! fandom, and I desired some, so I took it upon myself to shit this one out.
> 
> Shout out to my friend Beckie who is not only my beta but the Kuroo to my Bokuto. Love you bro <3

**(To: Keiji)** akaashi!!!!! I got a new phone!!!

**(From: Keiji)** Who is this

**(To: Keiji)** it’s your best friend in the whole world!!!!

**(From: Keiji)** Konoha-san?

**(To: Keiji)** oh…… well……… no……

**(To: Keiji)** i guess it’s actually not your best friend then………

**(From: Keiji)** Bokuto-san, I was joking.

**(To: Keiji)** oh!!! haha!!!

**(To: Keiji)** I knew I was your best friend (＾▽＾)

**(To: Keiji)** ...akaashi?

**(To: Keiji)** I mean it’s ok if i’m not………

**(From: Keiji)** Don’t sulk, you know you are

**(From: Keiji)** Now do your paper.

**(To; Keiji)** I knew it!!! you’re my best friend too akaashi!!!! (/^▽^)/

**(To: Keiji)** wait how did you know I had a paper due????

**(From: Keiji)** I know all.

**(To: Keiji)** that’s not concerning or anything

**(From: Keiji)** Do your paper

**(To: Keiji)** uuugghhhhhh, fiiiiine

***

**(To: Fukurodani Volleyball Team)** don’t forget about practice fondue at seven!

**(From: Keiji)** Practice fondue…?

**(To: Fukurodani Volleyball Team)** practice TOMORROW

**(From: Komi)** LMAO

**(From: Sarukui)** now I want some fondue tho

***

**(To: Keiji)** akaashi you wanna get lunch sheet practice today?

**(To: Keiji)** AFTER. holy shot. after practice

**(To: Keiji)** sir not shot

**(To: Keiji)** SHIT I MEAN SHIT

**(From: Keiji)** Well there’s no need to call me Sir, Bokuto-san, but if you insist

**(To: Keiji)** i’ll call you sir if you want akaashi (⌒.−)

**(To: Keiji)** looooooool

**(To: Keiji)** no but seriously lunch yeah?

**(From: Keiji)** Yeah, okay. That ramen place we like?

**(To: Keiji)** yesss!!! you don’t mind walking all that way do you??

**(From: Keiji)** No I don’t mind. Do you?

**(To: Keiji)** of course not!!! It’s totally worth it!!!!

**(To: Keiji)** see you in a few!

***

**(To: Keiji)** hoot

**(From: Keiji)** Bokuto-san, how many times do I need to tell you that “hoot” is not a proper greeting

**(To: Keiji)** hoot hoot akaashi hot!!!

**(To: Keiji)** I MEAN HOOT

**(To: Keiji)** god dammit

**(To: Keiji)** sorry

**(From: Keiji)** It’s okay. But why are you texting me?

**(To: Keiji)** well i’m bored…..

**(From: Keiji)** Aren’t you in class?

**(To: Keiji)** yes and it’s boring!!!

**(From: Keiji)** You shouldn’t be texting in class Bokuto-san

**(To: Keiji)** aren’t you texting in class too???

**(From: Keiji)** Yes but I’m better at hiding it than you

**(To: Keiji)** wow rude!!! akaashi you hell

**(To: Keiji)** jerk I meant akaashi you jerk

**(From: Keiji)** Your new phone is having some issues, isn’t it

**(To: Keiji)** yeah it ducking sucks!!

**(From: Keiji)** It ducking sucks, huh?

**(To: Keiji)** FUCK

**(To: Keiji)** you know what yes, duck is a new swear word now ok

**(From: Keiji)** If you say so…

**(To: Keiji)** I do say so, akaashi. I ducking say so.

**(From: Keiji)** Lol

**(To: Keiji)** hey so you wanna come over after practice?

**(From: Keiji)** I have homework

**(To: Keiji)** so??? bring it with

**(From: Keiji)** I doubt you’ll actually let me get anything done

**(From: Keiji)** I notice you’re not denying it

**(To: Keiji)** so… you coming over or not??

**(From: Keiji)** Yeah, yeah, I will.

**(To: Keiji)** yay!!!

**(To: Keiji)** oh shit

**(From: Keiji)** Bokuto-san?

***

**(To: Fukurodani Volleyball Team)** hey guys my teacher asked me to stay after class so i’ll probably be like 10 minutes late sorry!!!!

**(From: Keiji)** Lmao I told you so

***

**(From: Konoha)** What did you do?

**(To: Konoha)** eh I just got a lecture from my teacher cuz she caught me texting in class. i’ll be there in like 5. did you not get my text??

**(From: Konoha)** No I got that. I meant, what did you do to Akaashi??

**(To: Konoha)** what???? I didn’t do anything????

**(From: Konoha)** Welll I just assumed it was your fault, but maybe not.

**(To: Konoha)** well it’s not!!!! what the hell happened to akaashi????

**(From: Konoha)** Oh nothing bad. After he came in the club room and changed he sat down and started scrolling through his phone and SMILING.

**(To: Konoha)** smiling????????

**(From: Konoha)** Well it’s more of a quirk of the lips than anything but that definitely counts as a smile for Akaashi

**(To: Konoha)** SMILING????????

**(To: Konoha)** at his PHONE?????????

**(From: Konoha)** Oh great, now I broke Bokuto. Tatsuki’s gonna kill me

**(To: Konoha)** I’LL BE THERE IN 30 SECONDS

***

**(To: Keiji)** akaashi keiji my best friend in the entire universe

**(From: Keiji)** Oh no, what do you want

**(To: Keiji)** keiji i’m your best friend right

**(From: Keiji)** Bokuto don’t even start with me

**(To: Keiji)** so WHY won’t you tell me who you were texting yesterday before I got to practice????????

**(To: Keiji)** you can tell me ok I won’t tell anyone

**(To: Keiji)** was it a girl??????

**(From: Keiji)** For the last time, I wasn’t texting anyone, I was reading something on my phone

**(To: Keiji)** something pretty funny then, hmmm????

**(From: Keiji)** Yes. It was.

**(From: Keiji)** And it’s none of your business.

**(To: Keiji)** so it WAS a girl

**(From: Keiji)** I am literally facepalming right now. Look what you’ve made me do.

**(To: Keiji)** I can’t believe you have a girlfriend and you didn’t tell me, akaashi!!! i’m so hurt!!!!!

**(From: Keiji)** I do NOT have a

**(From: Keiji)** You know what, nevermind, because you’re not gonna believe me anyway.

**(To: Keiji)** you cut me deep, akaashi

**(From: Keiji)** Good

***

**(To: Kuroo)** KUROO HELP ME AKAASHI HAS A GIRLFRIEND WHAT DO I DO

**(From: Kuroo)** well hi to you too buddy

**(To: Kuroo)** this is a dire situation there is no time for greetings!!!!!

**(From: Kuroo)** ok ok ok, calm down. now did he actually tell you he has a girlfriend?

**(To: Kuroo)** well, no, he said he didn’t…

**(From: Kuroo)** ……………………………

**(To: Kuroo)** ok but the team keeps telling me whenever i’m not around that he looks at his phone and texts and smiles fondly!!!!

**(To: Kuroo)** SMILES FONDLY, KUROO!!!!

**(From: Kuroo)** and this only happens when you’re not around.

**(To: Kuroo)** idk apparently???

**(From: Kuroo)** has it ever occurred to you… that you might be the one he’s texting?

**(To: Kuroo)** what

**(To: Kuroo)** you think

**(To: Kuroo)** what?

**(From: Kuroo)** bro i love you but you are so dense sometimes

**(To: Kuroo)** no ok but if he’s texting me and not a girlfriend then what does it MEAN????

**(From: Kuroo)** it means you need to ask him out and snag yourself a pretty setter boy

**(To: Kuroo)** but he!!!!! but I!!!!!!

**(From: Kuroo)** use your words, bokhoots. you can do it

**(To: Kuroo)** idk if I could do it, man. what if he hates me

**(From: Kuroo)** you guys are super close and he doesn’t seem like the kind of guy to hate you for something like that even if he doesn’t feel the same

**(From: Kuroo)** but seriously, pretty sure the dude’s into you too

**(To: Kuroo)** what makes you think that??

**(From: Kuroo)** dude i’ve seen him stare at you at practice matches whenever you’re not looking

**(From: Kuroo)** he’s been doing that for aaaages

**(To: Kuroo)** really????

**(From: Kuroo)** yah bro

**(From: Kuroo)** just stop being a pansy and ask him out

**(To: Kuroo)** you’re one to ducking talk!!!!!

**(From: Kuroo)** oh am i?? am i one to ducking talk??? and who is going on a date with kenma friday????

**(To: Kuroo)** omg are you really???????

**(From: Kuroo)** yeah i just asked him literally like 30 minutes ago i was about to text you

**(To: Kuroo)** dude congrats!!!!!!

**(From: Kuroo)** thanks man

**(From: Kuroo)** so you gotta get on your setter now, bro

**(From: Kuroo)** in more than one way if you know what i mean

**(From: Kuroo)** GET ON MY LEVEL, BITCH

**(To: Kuroo)** you know what, duck you

***

**(To: Keiji)** hey, akaashi?

**(From: Keiji)** Yeah, Bokuto-san?

**(To: Keiji)** you don’t really have a girlfriend, right?

**(From: Keiji)** For the millionth time, I don’t have a girlfriend.

**(To: Keiji)** and you’d…. tell me if there was someone you were interested in right?

**(From: Keiji)** Ah.... yes

**(To: Keiji)** so there’s no one?

**(From: Keiji)** I’m not interested in any girls, no.

**(From: Keiji)** Why do you ask?

**(From: Keiji)** Bokuto-san?

**(From: Keiji)** ...Koutarou?

**(To: Keiji)** no reason I just wanted to make sure you’ll be focused on volleyball!!!!

**(From: Keiji)** Oh, okay.

**(To: Keiji)** haha yeah....

**(From: Keiji)** You sure you’re okay?

**(To: Keiji)** yeah yeah i’m fine, just… can’t sleep

**(From: Keiji)** Yeah, you know I can’t ever sleep either.

**(To: Keiji)** is it ok if I call you?

**(From: Keiji)** Yeah, go ahead

***

**(From: Kuroo)** so????

**(From: Kuroo)** do you have a hot date??????

**(To: Kuroo)** well…………

**(From: Kuroo)** you fucking chickened out, didn’t you

**(To: Kuroo)** uuugggghhh!!!!!!

**(From: Kuroo)** i’m gonna take that as a yes

**(To: Kuroo)** uuuuuuggggghhhhhhhh

***

**(To: Keiji)** hoot hoot!

**(To: Keiji)** hoot hoot hoot hoot!

**(To: Keiji)** heyyy

**(To: Keiji)** HEYY

**(To: Keiji)** HEEEYYYYYY

**(To: Keiji)** HHHHEEEEYYYYYYY

**(From: Keiji)** Bokuto-san you and I both know I am out of town.

**(To: Keiji)** but it’s so boring without you (｡•́︿•̀｡)

**(From: Keiji)** I’ll be back in two days. You won’t die without me.

**(To: Keiji)** I might!!!! Then what would you do???

**(From: Keiji)** Be really sad, probably

**(To: Keiji)** oh. really?

**(From: Keiji)** Did you think I would be happy if you died?

**(To: Keiji)** well no, I just wasn’t expecting such a sincere answer?????

**(From: Keiji)** I can be sincere sometimes.

**(To: Keiji)** lol I know you can

**(To: Keiji)** come back soon ok?

**(From: Keiji)** Two days, Bokuto-san.

***

**(From: Komi)** okay so are you and Akaashi dating yet or what???

**(To: Komi)** what!!!!! no!!!!! why would you think that!!!!!!!!!

**(From: Komi)** we’re not blind, Bokuto, we all know you’ve been pining after him for ages

**(To: Komi)** “we”???????

**(From: Komi)** literally the entire team!!!

**(From: Komi)** we made bets on when you’d start going out

**(To: Komi)** WHAT. WHY WOULD YOU

**(From: Komi)** Bokuto. you guys literally hang out all the time, even on school nights, and you’re not even in the same year so it’s not like you can do your homework together!

**(From: Komi)** and even when you’re not together you just text each other CONSTANTLY and you shoot the other these disgusting looks when you think nobody's looking

**(From: Komi)** HONESTLY, Bokuto

**(To: Komi)** what?? you mean… akaashi does that too???

**(From: Komi)** um yes???? he’s the worst, he fucking looks at you like he wants to eat you sometimes i think half the team is traumatized

**(From: Komi)** i’m already out of getting any money so PLEASE just put us all out of our misery and ask him out!!!

**(To: Komi)** uhhhhhhh

**(From: Komi)** I understand this is a lot to process, Bokuto. take your time.

**(From: Komi)** but seriously don’t take forever i’m gonna weasel lunch out of Sarukui if he wins

***

**(From: Keiji)** Hey, Bokuto-san?

**(To: Keiji)** what’s up akaashi?

**(From: Keiji)** I actually was wondering if maybe I could talk to you about something…

**(To: Keiji)** oh, uh there’s something I want to talk to you about too

**(From: Keiji)** What is it?

**(To: Keiji)** i’d actually rather talk to you about it in person if that’s ok

**(From: Keiji)** Yeah, I think I’d rather talk to you in person too.

**(To: Keiji)** can I come over?

**(From: Keiji)** Yeah, whenever.

**(To: Keiji)** ok i’ll be there in 15

***

**(To: Kuroo)** DUDE SUCCESS!!!!!!!!!!!

**(From: Kuroo)** you and akaashi??

**(To: Kuroo)** YES!!!!!!!!!

**(From: Kuroo)** OMG MAN CONGRATS ON GROWING SOME BALLS!!!

**(From: Kuroo)** so how’d it happen?

**(To: Kuroo)** well actually he texted me and asked if he could talk to me about something and I said I wanted to talk to him too so I went over to his place………

**(From: Kuroo)** omg did what i think happen actually happen

**(To: Kuroo)** hold ON i’m telling the story here!!!

**(From: Kuroo)** ok ok sorry jeez

**(To: Kuroo)** anyway I was gonna just blurt it out as soon as he opened the door so I didn’t lose my nerve but then he opened the door and we both started talking at the same time

**(To: Kuroo)** so I decided to be a gentleman and let him speak first

**(From: Kuroo)** so you did lose your nerve

**(To: Kuroo)** maybe……… a little bit…………

**(To: Kuroo)** but he was like just come in and we’ll talk so we went to his room and I sat down but he was still standing and not looking at me and being all fidgety and stuff???? which is super unlike him obviously so I was like oh no what is going on

**(To: Kuroo)** so I was like akaashi are you ok?????

**(To: Kuroo)** and he looked at me and he was like, koutarou…… I just wanted to tell you that I… like you, and I have for some time now………

**(From: Kuroo)** did I not fucking tell you you were completely dense!!!

**(To: Kuroo)** dude I am ducking aware of that now, thanks!!!!!!!!!

**(To: Kuroo)** anyway I guess I kind of just..... stared at him for too long because I was not expecting that at all

**(To: Kuroo)** cuz he starting like, nervous rambling?? about how he hoped it wouldn’t affect our friendship or volleyball or whatever he just wanted to get it off his chest and whatever and oh man he was all flustered and it was super cute

**(From: Kuroo)** bro you better have kissed that boy

**(To: Kuroo)** i’m getting to it!!!!!!!!!!

**(To: Kuroo)** so I got up to stand in front of him and I used my hand to tilt his face up all romantic-like and I was like, keiji, I have literally liked you so for so long the team was making bets on when I’d ask you out

**(From: Kuroo)** omg smooth LOL

**(To: Kuroo)** and he was like, are you serious???? and I was like yep and we both started laughing a little but then he noticed my hand was still on his face and did that thing where he glanced at my lips before looking at my eyes

**(To: Kuroo)** so I asked him if I could kiss him

**(To: Kuroo)** and he nodded

**(To: Kuroo)** so I did!!!!!!!!!!

**(From: Kuroo)** dude get it!!!!!!!

**(To: Kuroo)** it was awesome

**(From: Kuroo)** i’m so proud of you bro omg that’s the cutest thing ever

**(From: Kuroo)** i think i have diabetes now thanks

**(To: Kuroo)** looooooool thanks man!!!! i’m proud of you too!!!!!!!!!!!

**(From: Kuroo)** how was your date with kenma????

**(From: Kuroo)** i’ll tell you about it when you come over tomorrow k

**(To: Kuroo)** ok sounds good, I need to go pass out now anyway

**(From: Kuroo)** k get some sleep, loverboy

**(To: Kuroo)** you too!!!!!! g’night!!

**(From: Kuroo)** night bro!

***

**(From: Sarukui)** YESSSSS thank you bokuto!

**(To: Sarukui)** ? for what???

**(From: Sarukui)** you and akaashi are going out now right?

**(To: Sarukui)** how did you find out so fast??????

**(From: Sarukui)** you guys are like 80 times more gross than usual today so we figured something probably happened

**(From: Sarukui)** so it did??

**(To: Sarukui)** yeah, yeah, we’re dating now!!

**(From: Sarukui)** hell yes that means I won the bet!!!!!!!!

**(To: Sarukui)** you better thank akaashi too then

**(From: Sarukui)** oh I will!!

**(To: Sarukui)** so with your newly acquired money you’re gonna treat us all to lunch now, right??????

**(From: Sarukui)** uh hell no!

**(To: Sarukui)** sarukui as your captain and the person whose life you were betting on don’t you think it would be a common courtesy to treat us to lunch…………

**(From: Sarukui)** …………

**(From: Sarukui)** gotta go now captain bye!!!!

**(To: Sarukui)** sarukui you bastard!!!!!!

***

**(To: Keiji)** hoot hoot hey boyfriend!!!!

**(From: Keiji)** You can just call me Keiji, you know.

**(To: Keiji)** but I like calling you my boyfriend………

**(From: Keiji)** Yeah, I like it too.

**(To: Keiji)** ～(^з^)-♡

**(From: Keiji)** I’m not doing it.

**(To: Keiji)** (´;︵;`)

**(From: Keiji)**..........

**(From: Keiji)** (´ε｀ )♡

**(To: Keiji)** o((*^▽^*))o

***

**(To: Keiji, Kuroo)** i’ve always wanted to tell you how good your ass looks in those shorts and now I can, so damn your ass looks totally amazing in those shorts

**(To: Keiji, Kuroo)** okay I meant to only send that to akaashi but honestly kuroo your ass looks fine in volleyball shorts too

**(From: Kuroo)** aww thanks man! and you know what bokuto, your legs are like the hottest things ever in those long kneepads

**(To: Keiji, Kuroo)** omg dude you are so sweet!!!!! akaashi, how come you never say things like that to me???

**(From: Keiji)** Because I don’t love you like he does.

**(From: Kuroo)** Told you!!

***

**(From: Keiji)** Your legs do look really nice in those kneepads.

**(From: Keiji)** They’d look even nicer wrapped around my waist.

**(To: Keiji)** !!!!!!!!!!!!!!

**(To: Keiji)** holy shit!!!!!!!!!!!!

**(To: Keiji)** keiji!!!!!!!  <3 <3 <3

**(To: Keiji)** i’m coming over

**(From: Keiji)** Bring the kneepads

**(To: Keiji)** duck yes

***

**(To: Keiji)** heyyyy keiji

**(From: Keiji)** Yeah?

**(To: Keiji)** I love you  <3

**(From: Keiji)** I love you too, Koutarou.

**(From: Keiji)** <3

***

**Author's Note:**

> [Scrubs reference](https://youtu.be/BdztK3ZU4Wk) because my entire life is alternating between working at the hospital and thinking about Haikyuu!! That's literally it.
> 
> p.s. All typos in this fic are courtesy of my own shitty ass phone. Practice fondue, indeed.


End file.
